MEET THE CREW
CHEVY CAMARO
Backwater-famous for her ability to tame wild possums, Chevy is making her debut on the national racing stage, bringing a whole lot of down-home enthusiasm and little else.
GREASE MON-KEER
This AI-generated octogenarian holds the title of oldest ever pit crew member and most valued human wheel this side of the Mississippi.
OIL SLICK O’MALLEY
Being a sentient oil slick may be physically limiting but that’s never stopped O’Malley. As she likes to say, “One step for Slick, a giant leap for Oilkind.
BABY “GOT” TRACK
Born in a sidecar, bred for the open road, this Subaru-driving maniac has a catalytic converter for a right arm, a brake line soldered to her spine, and is perpetually ready to rock.
DALEA EARNHARDT
Dalea Earnhardt is unrelated to Dale Earnhardt but found her way into the world of NASCAR due to a botched identity theft scheme that landed her millions in debt and only capable of legally working as a Dale Earnhardt impersonator.
MAXXXED OUT
Everyone’s favorite NASCAR nepo baby is known for his parents’ fame and success and his own squandering of the family fortune on the most baller cars that never win.
CAM BAM THE WHAM MAN
Tipped his first cow when he was 7, and that’s when we knew he was a winner. Broke both his arms on a bet he could flip over a swingset. Worked County fairs all across the globe. Worked the gator petting zoo until “the incident.”
BENJI “BIG TOPPER” TOPPENCIEWSZYNCYZKIAKSKI
The youngest demolition derby mechanic in Appalachia. Big Topper knows every line and tube on a racing car. This wizard of welding sleeps in the pit and drinks motor oil for breakfast.
CLETUS “THE WRENCH” MCGIRT
Who knew that dropping a Carhartt hat in a pile of molten lava would transform it into a flame-retardant hellraiser deadset on having his name up in lights for driving fast and turning left.
COL LEFT
Incapable of turning right due to a rare hereditary defect, Col Left has embraced his left-turning loyalty and become a pillar of the left-handed community, donating millions to lefties across the globe through his charity Can Only Turn Left.
FRIDA “MN”
The world-famous, Lifetime Achievement Golden Gas Can-winner is known for bathing daily in methanol to help enhance his oil changing speed.
THE SPIRIT OF DALE
The spirit of Dale lives on in each and every NASCART driver, pit crew, and flag babe. May we all end at the finish line in the spirit of Dale.
